The blog posts have definitely been far and few between, but the commitment towards the challenge of losing weight has not ended. The two sisters continue to struggle. Our efforts some days are fantastic, while other days prove to be overcome by daily stress and binge eating. Good news is that both of us have embraced exercise for some time now. Results for me are evident in excellent overall blood work from my doctor. No signs of my obesity damaging my body, yet. However, this news should not make me complacent in the goal to shed pounds. I'm back on the wagon and though only day 3 in the process of logging my food into myfitnesspal, 3 days is like a miracle and I am proud of these glorious efforts to ward off junk food and sugar.
Meeting with a trainer for some time now, plays into my psyche. As hard as I work out and am sore for days on occasion, it all should be enough of a reminder to keep nonsense eating at bay, but the mental game of thinking that you work out is a license to eat more is a myth of sorts. A few hundred calories burned is there for replenishment of healthy food, not cookies. The trainer reminded us that working out is only 20% of your weight loss efforts, 80% is what you put in your mouth. I embrace that 20% with great effort, but for years is seems that 80% still alludes me. I know what I should be eating, I know what's healthy and what's not, then why does one choose poison still in an hour of stressful need?
One day I hope to get to the root of this self sabotage and hope to overcome this behemoth obstacle. Or any chance of loosing and KEEPING it all off will never happen. I love the feeling of muscle in places that I have not in so long. Working out brings a high and feels wonderful to have sweat drip off of me. Will that ever be enough to motivate me to stay on the path of healthy eating? I'm not sure and only time will tell on how I embrace it all.
Over the weekend I had a BBQ and the blog was mentioned and Sister 1 agreed that we should be making entries again. Someone shouted, make it 'Season 2'! So here begins another season, another year of our efforts towards health, feeling good and shedding pounds that will otherwise one day damage our bodies for good. Hoping this years efforts to convert to healthier habits will further be engrained on our psyches and that the futures holds what we are both so desperately seeking.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Girl Scout Cookies
Ah! Just my luck while embarking on the weight loss program through the gym my daughter's Girl Scout Cookie orders were full filled. My first instinct was to find a way to cookie proof myself from those tiny delectable morsels. Solution? I put them in the freezer.
However, from time to time, like little whispers, I hear them. Calling to me. The thing is, Girl Scout Cookies (specifically thin mints), are SO good. If you eat just one, you'll eat the whole sleeve. Yes, a sleeve. They come in two plastic sleeves in one box and the are so light and yummy, the before you know it, you've eaten a sleeve of those tasty suckers.
But, what I have to remember, and have now designed a reminder, that they seem light and yummy BEFORE you eat them, but AFTER, they are 160 calories sticking to your ribs. Same single serving size of cookies, but after you eat them, BOOM! fatty fat fat fat.
However, from time to time, like little whispers, I hear them. Calling to me. The thing is, Girl Scout Cookies (specifically thin mints), are SO good. If you eat just one, you'll eat the whole sleeve. Yes, a sleeve. They come in two plastic sleeves in one box and the are so light and yummy, the before you know it, you've eaten a sleeve of those tasty suckers.
But, what I have to remember, and have now designed a reminder, that they seem light and yummy BEFORE you eat them, but AFTER, they are 160 calories sticking to your ribs. Same single serving size of cookies, but after you eat them, BOOM! fatty fat fat fat.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Strength
There's no doubt that the last four months I have been doing a lot of thinking. After the bear attack, I clearly started looking at myself differently. Immediately after the incident my concern was recovery and feeding my wounds (physical and emotional). Literally, with lots of food. It was a short time after the holidays that a switch flipped. I needed to get back to exercising and eating right. The binge needed to end. I was in a prime mortal frenzy of eating. Just needed to comfort my soul. Nothing was safe in the house from being consumed.
The switch. I finally was processing the events and realized I was so much stronger than I ever thought. It's been small steps that are mostly applying to my need to be in better physical health. Like making the break and jogging faster and faster on the treadmill. Pushing myself harder to workout more often. I came out the other side of a most unexpected event in life and feel better about myself than I realized I have in a long time, if ever.
In addition, I've been doing a little research about animal totems after a suggestion that I have now been marked by a bear. The 'medicine' that Native Americans feel a bear has is actually about introspection. Finding the answers to the questions inside us. And boy, have I been looking inside my mind. To be quite honest I feel like I'm seeing myself clearly for the first time. I am so much stronger than I ever knew I was. I run faster every time I get on the treadmill, I push myself more physically than I have ever in the past. Mentally, I am fighting to be more confidence. I want to find my voice. I know that it's there, because that night my inner voice spoke to me. Deep inside, unprovoked I spoke to myself. And what it told me got me through those following weeks.
This crazy animal attack is not going wasted. I'm using these feelings as a self-growth exercise. Tremendous strength and courage are in me and I want that to come out all the time. Not just in a life saving/changing moment. Because the life I am trying to save and change now is mine. I have got to loose the weight. I can not go on like this. Every workout and everyday that I eat healthy will get me one step closer to this goal.
Cannot say enough about all of this. But in regards to my weight and it's battle, this poem below about bear totem's speaks to me so loud and clear, every word of it. If you have a special connection with an animal, do yourself a favor and research the totem. You might just have some really good medicine on your side!
Bear totem poem:
Deep in slumber, dreams unending,
Wise old bear, patient, strong,
Send me dreams of transformation.
Grant me intuition along
With introspection of my life,
Inner listening, no more strife.
The switch. I finally was processing the events and realized I was so much stronger than I ever thought. It's been small steps that are mostly applying to my need to be in better physical health. Like making the break and jogging faster and faster on the treadmill. Pushing myself harder to workout more often. I came out the other side of a most unexpected event in life and feel better about myself than I realized I have in a long time, if ever.
In addition, I've been doing a little research about animal totems after a suggestion that I have now been marked by a bear. The 'medicine' that Native Americans feel a bear has is actually about introspection. Finding the answers to the questions inside us. And boy, have I been looking inside my mind. To be quite honest I feel like I'm seeing myself clearly for the first time. I am so much stronger than I ever knew I was. I run faster every time I get on the treadmill, I push myself more physically than I have ever in the past. Mentally, I am fighting to be more confidence. I want to find my voice. I know that it's there, because that night my inner voice spoke to me. Deep inside, unprovoked I spoke to myself. And what it told me got me through those following weeks.
This crazy animal attack is not going wasted. I'm using these feelings as a self-growth exercise. Tremendous strength and courage are in me and I want that to come out all the time. Not just in a life saving/changing moment. Because the life I am trying to save and change now is mine. I have got to loose the weight. I can not go on like this. Every workout and everyday that I eat healthy will get me one step closer to this goal.
Cannot say enough about all of this. But in regards to my weight and it's battle, this poem below about bear totem's speaks to me so loud and clear, every word of it. If you have a special connection with an animal, do yourself a favor and research the totem. You might just have some really good medicine on your side!
Bear totem poem:
Deep in slumber, dreams unending,
Wise old bear, patient, strong,
Send me dreams of transformation.
Grant me intuition along
With introspection of my life,
Inner listening, no more strife.
3 diets at once, that's crazy talk!
I'm in my fourth week of joining the 30-30-30 weight loss program at my gym. In addition, I'm using sparkpeople.com to track fitness and calories. All while continuing to count my points on Weight Watchers. Apparently I have lost my mind. It sounds crazy, but each is giving me a different perspective about what I'm putting into my body from a nutritional stand point and the gym program is really teaching me to push myself harder when I work out (and HOW to work out properly). Good news is that in 3 weeks I lost 8 pounds. Bad news is that I'm still 6 pounds up from my lowest last year. Making it a total of 26 pounds, not 32. : (.
Five things that I have learned so far:
1. When eating more fiber you must increase your water, because fiber absorbs water. So drink up!
2. I really can run on the treadmill. Now up to 5.5 mph for 1 minute spurts.
3. Zumba really is fun. Love it!
4. Narrowing down the #1 food trigger: work related stress.
5. Finally, I know what my sodium intake is on a daily basis (thanks sparkpeople!)
Five things that I have learned so far:
1. When eating more fiber you must increase your water, because fiber absorbs water. So drink up!
2. I really can run on the treadmill. Now up to 5.5 mph for 1 minute spurts.
3. Zumba really is fun. Love it!
4. Narrowing down the #1 food trigger: work related stress.
5. Finally, I know what my sodium intake is on a daily basis (thanks sparkpeople!)
Monday, January 16, 2012
Unexpected Support
Sunday, brought the challenge of attending a children's party. I had the points, but quite frankly didn't want to use them on junk food and cake. I began by keeping myself busy with helping set up a few last minute details. But still managed to eat a handful of cheese puffs while watching the kids in the bouncy house. I could have earned some activity points and jumped around in the bouncy house, but quite frankly I could see myself getting stuck in the smallest little entrance hole I'd ever seen.
Just as thoughts of eating cake started to float in my head, a fellow mom on Weight Watchers said NO WAY was she eating cake. She had no more points. And cake isn't just a few points, it's like 9. That's a whole meal! Her will power gave me the strength to help pass the cake around, but not eat it. I'm so proud of myself because I had just cake Saturday night. Two pieces of cake in one week is a no no. Call it borrowed will power, but the unexpected support of this woman helped keep me strong and pass on the cake. Yeah!
Just as thoughts of eating cake started to float in my head, a fellow mom on Weight Watchers said NO WAY was she eating cake. She had no more points. And cake isn't just a few points, it's like 9. That's a whole meal! Her will power gave me the strength to help pass the cake around, but not eat it. I'm so proud of myself because I had just cake Saturday night. Two pieces of cake in one week is a no no. Call it borrowed will power, but the unexpected support of this woman helped keep me strong and pass on the cake. Yeah!
Sauerbraten
This past Saturday, my Dad turned 75th years old. The family celebrated at a wonderful little German restaurant for lunch. I did pretty good on controlling my eating and had the points for cake later. Celebration and food walk hand in hand and indulging is a given. However, I'm trying really hard during this first week back to stay on tract and not cross the line of over eating. I studied the menu ahead of time and looked up the points to my favorite dishes. I was prepared and pointed. It seemed almost all of us at the table had our eye on a German favorite, Sauerbraten! Wunderbar! Guten Appetit! The evening ended with really good laughs (which I'm convinced must earn you activity points), photo opportunities and hugs and kisses before departing. Happy with how the day ended on so many levels. Time with my family is easy and fun. We can joke with each other and always have a good time. Happy Birthday, Dad!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Running on the treadmill
Since I joined the gym over a year and half ago, a little fear I have had was to run on the treadmill. I would just envision myself falling flat on my face. This week while walking on the treadmill, I just felt like I had to run. All built up inside of me was this energy ready to pop out! I upped the speed and just started jogging. I went for it. That's all. Just started a nice easy jog. I jogged in spurts, a minute at a stretch. And I didn't fall! It seems miracles are happening everyday in my house. Still four more days to go to complete the week, but I feel confident I can do it. Like someone just picked me up and put me back down on the right path.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)