My Left Foot

Most people want to go on a 'diet' because they need to loose weight. Motivations include, "I have got to fit in that dress for occasion xyz" or "swim suit season" or "stomach fat, my clothes don't fit" or "OMG I have a double chin in every picture I take even when I stand straight and tilt my head up!". My motivation is one nobody really sees, at least not until recently.

When I was pregnant with my daughter 7 years ago my feet and ankles swelled unbelievably. Within a month or so of giving birth they went down. Then when I had my son almost four years ago, they swelled again–though not quite as bad. Within several weeks my right foot was 'deflating' but my left foot was staying a bit puffy. SO gross. Didn't hurt, but I asked the OBGYN about it and he'd just say, "Give it time. If it really bothers you ask your GP." Maybe a year goes by and I'm in my GP's office and I ask him to look at my foot. He tells me to watch my salt. I leave kind of pissed off because salt makes your whole body retain water not just the top part of one foot.

Finally this winter I go see a podiatrist for new orthodics (custom insoles for shoes, I have flat feet). I ask him and finally a doctor stops blaming salt and actually looks at my left foot and gives me a medical theory. When you're pregnant all of your joints get really loose. There is no doubt that my flat feet got wider after two pregnancies, but this last time the doctor thinks the fat pad from the bottom of my foot displaced and moved to the top of my foot. There is no pitting, no edema, just a cushiony little fat pad on the top of my left foot. Of course the answer is about fat.

Next my new orthodics come in and it's quite clear they are not going to fit into any shoe that I own. Even the doctor says wow these are really wide, but then places them on my feet to measure and says, "Nope, they fit just right." Oy. The mission now is to find shoes that will fit my giant orthodics and my left foot fat pad. At this point it's quite hilarious. I can only laugh. I go specifically to a running shoe store, though given my weight I clearly at the time was running no where. After trying on several sneakers the only ones that fit my orthodics and my fat pad are a MEN'S size 9EE. Yup. That's two EE's after that 9. Two widths wider than the widest women's sneaker (they stop at D). I'm slightly mortified, but they are on sale I buy them and run out the store (no pun intended).

Comedy hour. Our best friends come over and my husband cannot control himself. He MUST tell our friends about my giant shoes and everyone has to try them on (or really just slip them on). I'm not insulted in anyway because these giant shoes will take away my foot pain, so I truly laugh along. We call them clown shoes, say things like my feet block out the sun, etc. Really funny stuff.

I only happened to tell Sister1 about my secret left foot a few weeks ago and even she started laughing so hard I hope she was wearing a panty liner, because I swear she peed her pants. I can't help but think and HOPE that this 'diet' and some major weight loss will help bring my shoe size back into a women's shoe. Of course I think of wearing a swim suit or shorts for the summer (off limits for at least a decade), but seriously if I could get my feet down a shoe size or two when I hit goal I will be very happy. : )