Struggling

Week 11 has a few more days to go, but this week is just kicking my ass. My cravings for food are incredible. I still have weekly points left but feel this week might bring a gain. Thursday and Friday I ate so many 0 point foods that eventually they have to add up to something. Stuffed my gut and was still looking for more. My stomach was full, but my brain was not satisfied. Something bigger than shear will power and common sense could control. I have to review the blog posts and try to see where my pattern is of blogs titled, "Starving, Struggling, Eating My Digits..." Probably a post every 30 days and mostly likely my period is coming. Probably WAY TMI for you, but there just seems a few days here and there that become impossible to control. Then Saturday I went to a wonderful memorial service (yeah I know that sounds bizarre), but this family celebrated this man's life with love and food and reunion. The part that is pertinent to this blog of course, is the food. Rich delicious italian food that you can not get in the Poconos. And that's because we were in Staten Island celebrating someone's life and rarely am I around such a plethora of fantastic food. I feel like I did pretty good, especially at a BUFFET! These situations do trigger an immediate thought. How far to do I go with this? Do I skip it (the diet) all together, not count the points of today and just eat? No, no, no!!!! I did my best and sampled a few things and passed on others. At the end of a buffet line though, a few things is a plate full. Every bite was superb and worth the points. Something I am trying to remember is that this journey is not about one day and one meal.

Today, I wrangled things in much better and went swimming twice each at about 45 minutes of swimming and playing in the pool with the kids. I'll be at the gym tomorrow and on Tuesday and hopefully can stay on a typical routine with food and keep on point. Which has been difficult for the added problem of now I'm down another point because of week 10's weight loss.

This might seem all too confusing. I think this post is mostly therapy for me. Here's what I did, I'm acknowledging it, setting a new goal for it and moving forward. This is a technique I seem to be asking myself and of Sister1 every time we have overeated or made not the best food choice.  A mantra of awareness and resetting goals immediately. These are the kind of tools we much start practicing now so when we both reach goal will have these words engrained on our brains for when we are ready to maintain. This journey is really just still at the start! Sister1, you and I must, must stick to it. We must stay on path. Have to, have to because our very lives will depend on it.